Ellen Barkin claimed she slept with George Clooney; she was kidding. Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton went to a party together. Shaquille O’Neal saw The Departed, groaned loudly. If Diddy (Puffy? Sean? whatever) gets married, it’ll be to Kim Porter, he says. Denise Richards sleeps with her dogs. Mort Zuckerman fired Lloyd Grove to save money. The Shah of Iran’s son got a phone number at the Plumm. Steven Spielberg’s self-proclaimed niece dropped his name for fashion-show tix, didn’t get them. Luke Janklow had a party, made stair-climbers remove their shoes. Demi Moore will be the face of Helena Rubinstein cosmetics. A Mets fan got beat up at Dodger Stadium, and Tommy Lasorda called him to apologize. Cialis advertises on Keith Olbermann’s show. (We don’t understand how that’s news.) Lowell Weicker is leaving Connecticut. Club owner Michael Ault, with his mom but without Alex Haley, is going to Europe to research his roots. No one sang at El Morocco, apparently. Random women dig Dave Navarro. Nora Ephron feels bad about her hair, too.