party lines

Celebrities Exposed at Dressed to Kilt

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Photo: Patrick McMullan

Last night was the annual Dressed to Kilt fashion show, a benefit at Capitale for which innumerable celebrities and demi-celebrities — like Stone Phillips (at left), and you can decide for yourself which category he falls into — walk the catwalk in kilts to benefit the Friends of Scotland charity, show off their legs, and raise the question in curious onlookers’ minds of just what body parts they might display that they don’t mean to display. (How does a true Scotsman pick up women? “Sit on a bar stool, give ‘em a little peep,” explained Lord of the Rings hobbit Billy Boyd.)

We can report that Donald Trump was there, plus long-lost Terminator babe Linda Hamilton, Matthew Modine, and Michael Strahan, looking a bit too Shaq-in-Kazaam in a gold-and-red getup that he nonetheless proclaimed he planned to wear to Butter some time. (He changed before the after-party at Pink Elephant, while adorable rugby player Jason White, was perfectly comfortable going on the town in a jersey-kilt combo.) More important, we can report the exposed-body-parts count: two sets of buttocks, one pair of breasts (belonging to Miss Scotland, and mighty perky), and one set of testicles and accompanying member, viewed close up by the front row during a kilted backflip. Did we mention Johnnie Walker was also there? —Jada Yuan

Celebrities Exposed at Dressed to Kilt