Photo: Amina Akhtar
Your guide to the species of the nightlife habitat.
Species: Tubbs-and-Crockette
Etymology: Specimens rock the Miami Vice look — and, remarkably, get away with it.
Distinguishing characteristics: Though males are more often sighted than females, the rare female Tubbs-and-Crockette is occasionally spotted with its telltale plumage: pastels and an oversize blazer. Though men in such attire rarely achieve the look they want (fierce, drug-lord busting, gun-toting hotness), women are more successful. Notice the white pants, the pale pink button-up, and the boxy fit of the jacket. The specimen in the photo, however, suffers from one mutation: Her lack of loafers worn without socks.
Known locales: Running along the waterfront, looking for drug boats; the Diner
Diet: Mojitos
How to approach: Fierce creatures, Tubbs-and-Crockettes are terrifying to behold. Tread lightly — they could be packing. But after sending over a cocktail or three, you’ll get off with a smirk. If you ask nicely enough, she may even frisk you.
Endangerment status: Fragile. In the immortal words of their leader, Sonny Crockett: “You want to be dead? Bang, you’re dead.” —Amina Akhtar
