Today in the trials and tribulations of the impossibly hot: Helena Christensen is being sued by her neighbor in the West Village, a no-fun woman named Fran Panasci. The Danish supermodel (and possible sexer of Heath Ledger) built a deck on the back of her Hudson Street home, and it’s bugging Panasci — it “blocks all light and air,” says Panasci’s lawyer. The cranky neighbor-lady also claims that she must endure “loud offensive sound and noise which continues throughout the day, night, and early morning hours,” blah blah blah. Oooh, what kind of loud and offensive noises? And how about the completely inspiring fact that Helena is 38 and still likes to party like an INXS groupie? We’ll have what she’s having! Anyhow, Panasci wants $1.7 million for unspecified (are they ever?) damages, a price so high we can only assume it includes compensation for the severe psychological damage (body dysmorphic disorder, insane jealousy, self-loathing) one incurs when living within spitting distance of a supermodel.
Expect detours and delays around the GWB approaches. Use alternate routes.