At last night’s opening of Mauritius at the Biltmore Theater, Patricia Clarkson confessed a secret. “I never throw away a New Yorker,” she told New York. “I have New Yorkers dating back to the 1980s. I have boxes and boxes.” That sounds so, um, normal, actually. “She does. I know this,” said Chris Noth, passing by. “Not New York Magazine.” Noth also had some harsh words about our recent Bill Clinton–as–First Lady cover. “Your magazine has absolutely no scruples,” he said. “That’s terrible!” You know what else we’re terrible at, according to Noth? Predicting the plot of the Sex and the City movie based on all of the shooting around town. “Have you seen the script?” he asked. “I have. There’s been all this talk of Big and Carrie get married. I’m not going to say yes, or no, but did you see me at the church with Sarah Jessica? No, because I was at the Brooklyn Detention Center shooting Law & Order: Criminal Intent. The pictures everyone’s talking about are me with Charlotte. What does that mean? All I can say is that you people have gotten nothing right.” This makes us feel a lot better about the fact that we never watch Criminal Intent. —Jada Yuan
Reporter: Mr. President, any second thoughts on escalating the trade war with China?
President Trump: Yeah, sure. Why not?
Reporter: Second thoughts? Yes?
Trump: Might as well. Might as well.
Reporter: You have second thoughts about escalating the war with China?
Trump: I have second thoughts about everything.
White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, after Trump’s answer was widely reported: His answer has been greatly misinterpreted. President Trump responded in the affirmative — because he regrets not raising the tariffs higher.