Sean “P. Diddy” Combs punched a dude this weekend at Kiosk, presumably because he doesn’t have ladyparts to flash and this is his way of getting attention. He’s expected to “turn himself in” today, meaning we guess he’s going to walk into the police station and slap a wad of cash on the counter. We don’t know much about the guy he punched, except that he is called Steven Acevedo, he is somehow involved with fashion, and according to the Post, which wrote about the incident as though it were a scene from West Side Story the two were “love rivals.” Other than a minor mention linking him with dubiously employed Steve Aoki, he’s pretty unGoogleable, which is odd for a fashion guy. Which means getting clocked by P. Diddy is probably the best thing that ever happened to him. If he’s not in talks for his own reality show right now, he’s probably auctioning off his face on eBay. Because isn’t this just the land of opportunity?