Man, the people at Madam Tussauds are magicians.Photo: AFP/Getty Images
Today Cindy Adams predicts that Wesley Clark is in line to be Hillary Clinton’s running mate. He recently endorsed her, and Adams points out that four years ago, the two of them were the big Democratic stars. Interesting! Or, at least it would be, if Cindy Adams were at all a political expert. She’s not, and neither are we. But since America is probably going to have to deal with the whole running-mate issue earlier than ever this year, we thought we’d pile on with our prediction of whom she’ll anoint. After all, if Hill really wants to cement her position as the de facto Democratic nominee, why not go all the way? Barring any of the other candidates, we think she’s going to pick Indiana Senator Evan Bayh. Why? If you’ve even bothered reading this far down, you might as well click through to the jump to read our crackpot logic.
• Evan Bayh is a Democrat with a great record of winning in a red-leaning state like Indiana, which is one Hillary will need. He’s well liked, and his platform is simple enough to be shaped around hers. Also, he was governor of Indiana for two terms, so he has legislative and executive experience. Yeah, BO-RING.
• Bayh declared he was running for president in November of 2006. Just then, he happened to be spending a lot of time planning a high-profile trip to Iraq with his colleague on the Armed Services Committee, Hillary Clinton. Less than three weeks after he said he was going to run, and on the eve of the trip, he announced on December 16, he was pulling out of the race. Exactly one month later, Hillary said, “I’m in, and I’m in to win.” Why would he give up his dreams of the presidency (a dream he inherited from his father, 1976 presidential contender Birch Bayh) without having seen how much money he could raise over a few months? We have no idea; we just thought we’d throw random some dates out there and ask a question.
• Just last month, Bayh came out and endorsed Hillary in a press conference at her side. When Clinton was asked whether he was a possible VP candidate, she snapped, “His record of public service is extraordinary.” Bayh immediately changed the subject. Awkward. Then, that very day, he became the co-chair of her campaign.
• What about former governor Tom Vilsack, you ask, who was already a Hillary endorser and campaign chair? Right – she doesn’t need him to take Iowa.
• Oh, yeah. We’re not the only people who suspect this.
• Also, hello, cuteness! If you can’t have John Edwards as your campaign mate, you might as well get someone just as dreamy.
• Finally, everybody knows whatever MySpace wants, MySpace gets.
As far as we’re concerned (which is very little, as we don’t like to get stressed out on Fridays), the real question is, will she pick a running mate before the primaries to widen her appeal and cement her pole position? We’d ask you what you think, viewers, but we know there’s no way in hell you read down this far.
