So last night we went to the bar Angels & Kings because
it is the hottest rock-and-roll bar in town it is two blocks from our house. They were holding their new “Angels and _______” party, which caters to a gay/mixed, preppy young crowd (not their usual customers, apparently). We were surprised, then, to see bar owner Pete Wentz sitting in the corner, with some of his friends from Gym Class Heroes and Panic at the Disco. Wentz is straight, like so straight people can’t stop talking about how he may have knocked up Ashlee Simpson! Naturally, we accosted him. “I heard it’s gay night, right?” he asked us, after we complimented his pointy hair. Turns out Pete has “great ‘dar,” by which he means he has a highly tuned interior electromagnetic sensor which lets him know when there are moving or fixed homosexuals nearby. So naturally we asked, Do you like running with gays, Pete? “It seems sometimes like nobody knows how to have a good time anymore,” he told us. “But the gays are always having a good time.” It’s true! We are! We didn’t get our name for being grouchy, now did we?
Related: Pete Wentz Designs and Wears Women’s Clothes [Cut]