P. Diddy Is New York

For the past few months, we’ve been walking around feeling odd — a sort of hollowness that is really best described by the German word Weltschmerz. We didn’t know the root of it until today, when were skimming the wires and discovered, in the midst of his lengthy Q&A with Reuters, that P. Diddy had left us for Los Angeles. He is, he said, there to concentrate on his acting. Suddenly, the hollow feeling made sense: We hadn’t known Diddy was gone, but it was he we’d been missing. We were even pissed about it. He told us so himself.

New York, they didn’t want me to move. I’m only bicoastal, but they’re not really happy with that. New York is not really happy with me being at Lakers games or being out here spending a lot of time with you guys. In the streets they’re like, “What are you doing? Don’t do it.”

We’d been so foolish, so blind. How did we not recognize that without P. Diddy New York is nothing, because P. Diddy is New York?

I’m a real strong New Yorker, like everybody knows me as that. If you come to New York you see my posters up everywhere, you’re going to hear my music, you may see me. Like, I’m New York.

Come back, sweet angel! Never will we take you for granted again, P. We will douse ourselves in Unforgiveable and don a Sean John jersey and wait, softly weeping into our pillows, until your return.

Q&A: Combs Pursues New Career “Like Any Aspiring Actor” [Reuters/NYT]