Do you ever read Hudson Morgan’s “Status Report” column in Men’s Vogue? You should. Basically, Mogue sends Hud to the most amazing parties, vacation spots, and celebrity/society clusterfucks around the world, and he drily chronicles his experiences. Memorable highlights include the time he was told to “stop hating” on Zack Braff in St. Barts for wearing pirate pants, or when he picked on Cy Twombly’s accent one time at the Palazzo Barberini in Rome. But this latest effort, in which he tags along with the Gumball 3000 rally across Asia and Europe, really takes the cake — particularly when he and other racers like Bam Margera and Alfonso Ribeiro (yes, Carlton Banks) make a pit stop in North Korea.
From his report, when the Gumballers are treated to a spectacle of Kim John Il’s citizenry:
The Mass Games, or Arirang — an aggressively choreographed gymnastic spectacle featuring 100,000 performers — is basically a Super Bowl halftime show of North Korean team spirit: One side of the stadium flashes placards of nationalistic scenes while costumed men, women, and children wave flags, sing, and dance in military formation. Suddenly the lights go dark and a figure in a yellow bodysuit climbs into what looks like a giant slingshot. As the crowd gasps, the performer is catapulted 200 feet through the air, sailing through a hanging hoop before landing in a net far below. Motioning to Bam Margera, one of the Brit motorists mutters, “You can just see the Jackass guys’ minds whirring.”
Yeah, there’s more, including a visit to the only karaoke bar in North Korea, where Ribiero sings “Ebony and Ivory” to some vaguely terrified hotel employees. You have to read it to believe it.
Silk Roadsters [Men’s Vogue]