Look, it wasn’t that Representative Charles Rangel didn’t want to declare the $75,000 in income he earned from his villa in the Dominican Republic, he said in a press conference yesterday. It was just that it was so difficult to deal with the bureaucracy down there. You know how they are with their culture, like they pretend they can’t speak English because they are lazy. Even when Rangel talked real loud and enunciated, it was like they did not get it.
“Every time I thought I was getting somewhere, they’d start speaking Spanish,” Mr. Rangel said.
Ha-ha-ha you know? They just kept speaking Mexican to him! And he’d eventually just throw up his hands be like, “Hasta la vista, guess I’m not going to give you any dinero, amigos.” Because what else could he do?
Needless to say, this explanation will probably not entirely fly in Rangel’s district, where, according to the Times, “Spanish is the primary language in nearly half the households,” and considering the other recent embarrassing revelations about Rangel, like the fact that until recently he kept four rent-stabilized apartments for his personal use and that he used congressional letterhead to write letters soliciting money for his massive vanity project, the Charles B. Rangel Center for Public Service. But at least if they curse at him on the street in Spanish, it’s not like he’ll know what they’re saying.