Yesterday morning we left our patented Gossip Girl reality index open to your contributions. And you had a lot — 275 at the moment, and counting. After a day of pensive reflection, we’ve gone back through and tallied up all the points. This is how it all adds up.
Our initial episode totals: 66 points on the realistic side, 43 points on the fake side.
YOUR additional totals: 21 real points, 19 fake points.
SO, in total, the episode was 25 points on the real side. Hooray! A lot of you complained about the inconsistency in Constance Billard uniforms, but we’ve addressed this issue in the tallies before. We can’t keep subtracting for it — it’s an eternal pain, like Chuck’s use of pomade, or the fact that nobody smokes cigarettes. Speaking of which, many of you also wondered whether you saw a pack of Parliaments in Jenny’s bag. We didn’t notice that but will go to the tape. And finally, many of you either loved or hated Serena’s drunk flirtation face, when she bit the edge of her martini glass. As far as S’s expressions go, this was well within the realm of normalcy, but certainly not realistic, so we’re neither awarding nor subtracting points.
As Real As a Dumpster-Chic Bag That Actually Came From a Dumpster:
• Also plus 2 for the look on S’s face when she told the girls at STK that all moves had to go through her. So happy this bitch is back. —MrsPaceyJWitter
• Plus 2 for Serena waking up, seeing Chuck in her bed and yelling “Boundaries!” —LaurenGayle(echoed by RSJC, Jebream)
• Brunette minion to Jenny: “Our tactics may be unoriginal, but they’re very effective” Have to give that plus 2 because, despite the fact that it’s by far the lamest line in the show, it is painfully realistic that she would not have something witty to say and would resort to something so idiotic..—Lisanicole (echoed by andremichael)
• A few extra points for following up Blair’s “Atonement” reference by having Marcus and Catharine (in a green/emerald coloured dress) having their tryst in the library. Plus 2. —xoxotiffany
• Did a toothbrush fall out of Little J’s bag too? If so, plus 5 for building up to her inevitable eating disorder. —5459 (echoed by Luvmesomeme, jessica_dawn)
• Plus 2, for Rufus wearing a denim shirt, because he so would. —sam_i_am
• A plus 1 for Serena ordering a Belvedere martini because Serena Van der Woodson would have her own preferred top shelf vodka. —Katie08
• “Dan’s not into sports.” Plus 5 for Serena totally emasculating Dan by undermining his athletic prowess even though as a loner writer he’s supposed to be way too cool to care about something so lame as sports. SO REAL. All high school boys secretly want to be lacrosse boy, even if they know one day their writing will make them cool. —NicoLion
Faker Than an Adult Slumber Party:
•Also minus 1 for the Nairtini, because Nair definitely doesn’t work that fast. —martell
• Why was CHUCK BASS wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch (or American Eagle) shirt? Minus 5 —danpatrick24 (echoed by leothegreat, electrizze, XOGBXO, isawhatwhat, srises_again, awietsma)
• The Sunshine would only play Repo Man at a midnight show. Minus 1! —photochica (echoed by chiyork)
• Did anyone notice when Dan said no one cheated (re: him and Serena)? Didn’t he hook up with Georgina?? Minus 1 —icanseerussiafrommyhouse
• Also, minus 2 or so for Serena and the Dalton boys not at least knowing about each other. All NYC private school seniors know each other (or at least know of each other), especially if it’s a “queen bee” like Serena. They would have met at a party or event somewhere along the way. —leshatzvine
• Minus 2 for Rufus’ new bed buddy being totally OK with Lily sitting in her new bf’s apartment with a bottle of wine and a movie when she arrives for their “date” (aka second night in a row sleepover). —mv0227 (echoed by soccerjoc101)
• Second, elite prep schools in Vermont? That’s just too hard to believe minus 2 —GiveBackMyPants
• Minus 1 for Chuck’s constant lip puckering. He’s starting to rival Serena. —cowt
• Hmmm…. has anyone mentioned negative points for Little J leaving school to go help out former L&O SVU cop at the Waldorf atelier for “Women’s Sufferage Day”??? No cut slips? No lecture from Rufus? Come on, minus 2. —susyp (echoed by kelly0824)
• How bout the scene when Blair uses Vanessa’s phone to send the picture of the lord and countess to her own phone it says “sent to Blair’s phone” Would V honestly have Blair saved in her 5? Minus 2 —Luvmesomeme
Earlier: ’Gossip Girl’ Tosses a Nairtini in Our Faces