Okay, Daily Intel is officially putting Alex Rodriguez on notice. This morning the Yankee gives a ball-achingly annoying interview to People in which he says that he and Madonna are just “friends” who share “a lot of the same commitments toward helping children.” He finds the tabloid reports of their affair “ridiculous,” he says, and suggests that the fact they keep seeming to end up in the same international destinations is a coincidence. “I can tell you this,” he says. “We have never been on a plane together.” Oh, well then. No, seriously, what is ridiculous is that he has the gall to imagine anyone would believe for one second that this is true, and that he and Madonna were bonded solely by their commitment to “making the world a better place.” It’s insulting, frankly, these celebrities thinking they can get away with these dismissive statements. What, does he think we were born yesterday? Well, we’ll tell you something, mister. We have been around the block, and tabloid-affair stories do not materialize out of thin air and reach critical mass when people are friends. If we were to stand and recite all of the names of the celebrities who have told these “just friends” stories and were later found out to be lying liars, we would actually have to do it in shifts, as it would take a good three to four days. Of course, we won’t do that, because it would be pathetic and weird. But suffice to say: We know A-Rod is lying about this sure as we know he uses St. Tropez Tan, and we’ve got our eye on him.
“May God ruin him.”