Michael Wolff’s mother-in-law is suing him and his wife for pressuring her to leave her apartment so hard that she says she had a heart attack. Also, “Page Six” called him “trout-lipped.” Our friend Shinan Govani says Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper are still dating, which means Seyfried has to go back on our “to assassinate” list, sadly. Michael Jackson announced ten farewell shows in London yesterday, but it was sad because nobody showed up to hear him hoot. Dolly Parton calls her music “hick hop.” Mel Gibson and Catherine Zeta-Jones left a Van Morrison concert early and missed the awesome encore. Lucy Liu is secretly an artist, painting under the pseudonym Yu Ling. Lindsay Lohan wants to do a cover of a Britney Spears song, but a friend thinks she won’t be able to pull it off because she can’t actually sing. We don’t understand how this is a problem in this case.
Patti LuPone is not that psyched about the pedestrian areas being added to Broadway in Times Square, because more tourists will get in her way as she goes to work. Brody Jenner and Joe Francis got caught in a catfight. Cynthia Nixon said there won’t be a Sex and the City musical on Broadway, not that anybody asked.
Reese Witherspoon is investing in more ranch land, which she’ll share with some pigs and chickens. Chris Matthews has two hot sons, one preppy one and one “fashionably bearded.” Speaking of which, do we really need to keep seeing these “amazing” shots of Angelina Jolie wearing a blonde wig? Jared Kushner took everyone in the Observer offices to Starbucks, because the company is a new corporate sponsor. Colin Hanks continues to get work with the help of his father.