Oh, of course. In retrospect, we can’t believe it has taken this long for this to happen. The tension simmering between two of the fi-cri’s dominant personalities — vagina-walled prognosticator of doom Nouriel Roubini and New York’s own redheaded stepchild, Jim Cramer — has at last come to a head. Recently, Cramer wrote in a blog post that Roubini is “intoxicated” with his own “prescience and vision,” and Roubini struck back to the AP.
“Cramer is a buffoon,” said Roubini, a New York University economics professor often called Dr. Doom. “He was one of those who called six times in a row for this bear market rally to be a bull market rally and he got it wrong. And after all this mess and Jon Stewart he should just shut up because he has no shame.”
This feud is only bound to escalate, as neither takes personal criticism well: Cramer, as we have recently seen, cannot let a slight go even when it’s in his best interest (bless him), and Roubini has a notoriously short fuse and is, in our personal opinion, well overdue for a career-ruining explosion. But more to the point, their diametrically opposed temperaments make them natural enemies: Roubini is dark, brooding, coldly arrogant. Cramer is exuberant, talkative, and as full of emotions as a 13-year-old girl. The only question is, how will this battle end? We know it’s irrational, but somehow in our gut we feel that all signs point to a Jane Austen–like finale, culminating in a hairy, masculine kiss on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.