ballsy crimes

Rod Blagojevich Plots His Next Escape

Rod Blagojevich really doesn’t want to go to jail. When the felony indictments against him were handed down a couple of weeks ago, he was in Disney World with his family, seeking asylum in one of Epcot’s many international pavilions. It didn’t work, obviously, because those are just amusement-park attractions. So, his first scheme foiled by the deceptions of Walt Disney, Blago set to work on a new plan. Finally, after many hours alone, brushing his hair in deep thought, he got one. Yesterday, soon after he pleaded not guilty and misquoted Teddy Roosevelt, reports surfaced that Blago hopes to star in the reality-TV show I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here, which will film in the Costa Rican jungle in June. NBC has already agreed to have him — obviously he would be amazing for the show. All he needs now is a judge’s approval to leave the country. If he actually receives permission, and makes it to that jungle, expect him to make a run for freedom the first chance he gets, banking on his nonexistent survival skills to keep him alive until he reaches some remote Costa Rican village, where he will quickly blackmail and strong-arm his way to a position of supreme authority.

Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich hoping to appear on reality show [Chicago Tribune]

Rod Blagojevich Plots His Next Escape