Bernie Madoff got an awfully long prison sentence. But at least he’ll have plenty of people to talk to at his purported new digs in Butner, North Carolina: Bernie and John Rigas, the octogenarian former CEO of Adelphia Communications serving 30 years for fraud, for instance, can play canasta together in the mess hall (no cheating!). And while he may not have a lot in common with Omar Abdel-Rahman, the terrorist who masterminded the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, we’re sure Bernie and Jonathan Pollard, the former U.S. Naval Intelligence analyst convicted of espionage for Israel, will have a lot to talk about, considering Bernie’s support of Israeli charities. But even with these new friends, Bernie will still be missing out on an important part of the human experience, CNBC helpfully reports: “Once Madoff is settled, his friends and family can visit, but conjugal visits are forbidden.” Welcome to your 150-year dry spell, Bernie.