Michael Jackson’s spectral presence apparently isn’t the only sinister force threatening to bring down the Internet these days. According to South Korean intelligence officials, North Korean (or at least pro–Kim Jong Il) forces were behind attacks on the websites of the U.S. Treasury Department, Secret Service, Department of Transportation, Federal Trade Commission, and dozens of other government agencies. The sites were shut down starting on July 4, which follows Pyongyang’s tradition of coordinating attacks to our holiday calendar. Several South Korean sites were also attacked, as were commercial sites in the United States, like washingtonpost.com. The U.S. government has not discussed the attacks, but we think somebody should explain something about American holidays: That’s when we try our best not to read the news and not to log on to federal-government websites. If they want to get a rise out of us, they should start launching dubious missile “tests” or Internet “strikes” on, like, Wednesdays. Or, like, that terrible no-three-day-weekend break between President’s Day and Memorial Day. Tax Day! Try attacking our government websites on April 15 — then we might pay attention.