There are many types of couples that are annoying to hang out with. Couples Whose Public Displays of Affection Verge on Pornographic. Couples Who Talk and Dress Alike and Cut Each Other’s Food. And Couples Who Love to Fight in Public. Occasionally, the constant bickering between this latter type of couple erupts, publicly, into an actual argument of the sort that is not normal for other people to witness. Usually, such outbursts are brief, as the couple is shamed into uncomfortable silence by the palpable discomfort radiating from the people around them. But there’s no physical tension to be felt online, and thus, Couples Who Love to Fight in Public have been freely indulging their passion by flaming one another in status updates on Facebook, the Times informs us today — so much so, that there’s even a group called “I Dislike People/Couples Who Argue Publicly on Facebook.”
James Gower and Ashley Andrews, an engaged couple in Texas, tried to explain the reasoning behind their digital sparring to the paper.
“My friends have a biased opinion of her, and her friends have a biased opinion of me,” Mr. Gower said. Broadcasting his gripes on Facebook is “a way to get your side of the story out there to everybody. That way, they don’t just hear her side.”
Whatever. Being from Texas and 22, we can’t expect them to really have enough of a handle on themselves to identify the actual reason, which is probably that fighting in public is basically foreplay. Seriously, if we were making a chart of like, the evolution of sexual fetishes, public fighting would probably end up about three steps away from subway-flashing. So it makes sense that these people, who are basically exhibitionists, would take their kink online. The only question is, when your arguments are on Facebook, do you still get to have real-life makeup sex? Or do you have to go to Second Life for that?