stand clear of the closing doors

Do. Not. Run. To. Catch. The. Train.

Roughly three years ago, Intel Chris took a tumble down the stairs in the Sixth Avenue L station. It was one of those epic falls in a crowded station where your first instinct is not, “Something horrible has happened to one of my only four appendages!” but rather, “How can I minimize the horrible, horrible humiliation I have just suffered in front of several dozen strangers?” Getting up, he did a little bit of a Mary Catherine Gallagher flourish, and did his best to laugh it off. Yes, there was some drinking involved, and yes, he was taking two stairs at a time — in flip-flops — but the train was coming. It’s like an animal instinct when that happens! (It was only one hour and two bars later, when he hopped off of a banquette, that he realized he had fractured his ankle, and would be in crutches for weeks.)

ABC 7 today captured the story of a similarly drunk man running to catch the D train who was not lucky enough to merely suffer humiliation and a cracked fibula. Instead, this guy slipped and fell in front of a departing train and got his leg caught between the train and the platform. Don’t think that sounds so bad? Watch the video. If you dare.

Do. Not. Run. To. Catch. The. Train.