heroes

Gary Brooks Faulkner Is Not Done With You, Osama Bin Laden

Real-life action hero Gary Brooks Faulkner — who was thisclose to beheading Osama Bin Laden before the busybody Pakistani police detained him — is finally back home in Colorado. But during a stopover at LAX, Faulkner delivered a brief patriotic speech, which, ideally, would have been backed by “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”

And by “we,” Faulkner is talking mostly about himself. He claims he’s “absolutely” returning to Pakistan to finish the job, adding mysteriously, “You’ll find out at the end of August.” Faulkner’s new PR representation, the Publicity Agency, will make sure of it, although publicity seems like the last thing you would want for a covert mission into the mountains of Pakistan to kill the world’s most dangerous terrorist.

Bin Laden “Hunter” Lands at LAX from Pakistan [KTLA]

Gary Brooks Faulkner Is Not Done With You, Osama Bin Laden