Pop quiz: Your colleague asks, “We’re all going to do Jäger bombs until we barf, want to come?” How do you answer? What if he says, “Heading out to this joint where the girls look a little underage but give great happy endings, you in?” Or you and a group of co-workers are driving through Greenwich, and someone goes, “What say we hop out of the car and violate those sheep?”
If your answers would be “Yes,” “Yes sir,” and “That sounds super!” then you are on your way toward having a successful career on Wall Street, according to Mark Jeffries, a former equity salesman for Merrill Lynch and the author of The Art of Business Seduction.
When he first started working on the Street, Jeffries wasn’t much of a yes-man. When colleagues at his London office went out to get jarred, he stayed behind and, you know, worked. “I didn’t like at the end of the day getting absolutely drunk,” he told Fins. “It just wasn’t my way.” Then, when the market crashed, he got canned. Whereupon he had the following revelation:
“The bottom line,” Fins deduces, is that “in most finance jobs, the better you are carousing with the boss and co-workers, the more success you may have climbing the ladder.” Or like a wise woman once said: “Real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.”
Wall Street Career Tip No. 1: Drink Up [Bull/Bear Report/ FINS]