JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon knows that people are talking smack about him. That’s the price you pay when you’re the only person brave enough to voice dissent. Does he let the chatter get to him? What do you think? He’s Jamie Dimon! He lets it roll right off his back. For instance, this thing with the president? They were never as tight as those sad sacks who fantasize about gay power love made them out to be (cough Noam Scheiber cough). “We were neither in love nor have we fallen out,” he tells Duff McDonald in the upcoming issue of Fortune. People who snicker at the fact that it took a long time for him to sell his house in Chicago? He only feels the utmost empathy for them that they’ve experienced whatever misfortune caused them to become so bitter and pathetic. “If that makes people happy, that’s sad,” he said.
“But I am sympathetic if anyone who lost money in real estate feels a little better that I did as well. Misery wants company.” Is he pissed off at Elizabeth Warren for calling him out in that Wall Street Journal op-ed? Nah. “The things she has said about me? I don’t take them personally,” he said. He gets it: She’s got to do what she can to seem as though the government is any match for powerful institutions like his. In real life? They’re totally buds! Yeah, and he’s totally psyched for her for getting that gig as the head of the new Consumer Protection Bureau. “She called me the day it was announced,” he said. “I was in Russia, or I would have called her myself.” And everyone knows you can’t make outgoing calls from Russia.