sex diaries

The Horny Consultant With the Two-Sided Toy

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Horny Consultant With the Two-Sided Toy: female, consultant, Brooklyn, 26, straight, in a relationship.

1 a.m.: My live-in boyfriend, A, gets home at seven and we postpone client work until 11:30 or so. Since we only have one desk, we tend to migrate to the bedroom to finish stuff. I stay pretty focused until about an hour and a half in, when my hormones get the best of me and I decide to initiate some fooling around.

Luckily, when I decide this, A is finishing up his work. Five minutes later, pants are off and I’m giving him head. He finishes pretty quickly, sits up to give me a kiss, and then pushes me back down on the bed. A is pretty well versed in my nether regions, so depending on the time frame, he can generally get me off in a couple of minutes. But tonight he spends time teasing and getting me close. I have an intense orgasm and spend the next ten minutes cuddled with him in bed.
2:30 p.m.: Having some client issues today with non-payment and feeling a bit stressed out, so I take a “porn break” to get my mind off drama and back on work. RedTube is always a trusty standby, so I do a quick search, find a video of two blonde lesbians doing it up on a lawn chair, and seven minutes later, I’m done.
10 p.m.: While working, A and I get into a discussion about what we would do for a couple of hundred thousand dollars to fund a little start-up. Blow jobs were clearly on the list, which made me ask him if he thought he’d be good at giving other men blow jobs. He says he’s not sure, but if his ability to use his tongue the way he does is any indication, I’d say it’s a safe bet to say yes. We work for an hour and then I ask him if he wants a blow job. He says yes, and I comply for about twenty minutes. Though he moves to return the favor, I’m not feeling all that turned on and ask for a back rub instead. He complies.

10 a.m.: Woke up feeling like shit. And if a fever and body aches weren’t enough, I start my period. This is going to dampen my plans for a hot time in Atlantic City this weekend.
3 p.m.: Three hot teas, a glass of Airborne, and a handful of B-12 tablets later, I’m still not feeling up to par. And my sex drive is nil. Atlantic City is officially off the agenda. What’s the point of paying for a hotel room if you aren’t going to fuck in it?

10 p.m.: After a day of running around the city, A and I decide to relax for a bit and do some Amazon shopping to get rid of a holiday gift card. Instead of buying some stuff for around the house that we actually need, we opt for two dildos, a fishnet teddy with garters, and some comics. Sometimes I think I need to reevaluate my role as a functioning adult.
2 a.m.: In bed reading with A and feeling a little horny, so I suggest watching some porn. We both reach for our laptops at the same time, and instead of watching it together, we end up watching separate videos while lying next to each other. A takes off his boxers and starts getting into it, but being sick is killing my sex drive. I pull up some co-ed dorm-sex videos in an attempt to get turned on, but it’s a no-go. Oh well, I figure I’ll wake up in the morning with a renewed desire for orgasm and give it up for the night and go to bed. I fall asleep while A rubs one out next to me.

10 a.m.: Wake up feeling horny. Thank the gods! Since A is still asleep and near impossible to wake up, I handle the situation myself. Lately, I’ve been having lots of fantasies imaging A taking advantage of a cute female intern at work. They’d both be at the office late and she’d make a move on him, resulting in a full-blown ass slapping and desktop fucking. I play out the scenario in my mind and it doesn’t even take me two minutes to reach orgasm.
10 p.m.: We cook dinner and down a bottle of wine. I’m feeling more than buzzed, and I ask A if he wants me to give him head. Since I’m still on my period, there’s no possibility of him returning the favor, and since A isn’t all that enamored with period sex, I’m a pent-up ball of sexual frustration. It’s a good thing those sex toys are coming in a few days, because I’m going to need them. While I go down on him, A and I concoct a role-playing fantasy for later this week where he’s my history teacher and I have to make up a test I cheated on. It involves me being humiliated and getting punished, and I am enormously turned on.
1 a.m.: I mention the workplace fantasy to A and tell him that I’ve been getting off to thinking about him fucking other women. I can’t decide if this means that I actually want to watch him fuck another woman or if it’s just a random fantasy. I think I might be really into the whole thing, but I’m still not a hundred percent sure and am not quite yet willing to try and sort through the details of making it happen.

5:30 p.m.: Decide to set aside my work for a bit to watch some porn. I really like Art of the Blowjob by Camille Crimson and I haven’t seen her newest videos, but I settle on Not sure what I’m in the mood for, so I grab my bullet vibrator and browse for a bit.
6:30 p.m.: Go downstairs to check the mail for sex toys. No such luck.
7:45 p.m.: I log in to OkCupid to see if I’ve had any more hits to my profile. Even though I’m listed on the site as “Seeing Someone,” I like getting my flirt on occasionally. No one and nothing interesting on that front. Still horny and waiting for A to get home so we can fool around. I don’t feel like watching porn again and I want the real deal.
10:54 p.m.: A client needs something by tomorrow a.m. and work takes priority, which means no play time sans a brief makeout-and-groping session when A gets home.
1 a.m.: Finally finish client work and want to cuddle for a second, so I wrap myself up next to A. We make out for a bit while he plays with my breasts. I get turned on by the action, and repay him with some oral sex.

10 a.m.: Woke up late because of the rain and need to get off before I start working. I pull up Page 3 girls and check out some British racks until the deed is done. And then it’s time to start the day.
7:30 p.m.: Three boxes from Amazon arrive and I’m excited. The first one contains three comics, the second has a violet vibrator, and the third contains a strapless strap-on double-sided dildo. It. Is. On.
7:45 p.m.: The purple double-sided dildo vibrates! Hells yeah! A and I have a mini sword fight for a few minutes before we break things up to finish cooking dinner and working. A few hours later, while taking a bath, I start masturbating in the bathtub. With two new vibrators sitting on top of my dresser, it seems ludicrous for me to be doing manual labor. I hop out of the bath, grab A, and march him to our bedroom.
12:15 a.m.: I put vibrator No. 1 to good use while A provides some manual aid. The vibrating function on this one is no joke and paired with A’s dextrous fingers, it’s a bit overstimulating.

9:30 a.m.: I wake up horny again and think about using Vibrator No. 2 to get off, but it’s in the living room and that would require getting out of my comfortable bed and walking across the room. Regular old hand masturbation wins out over laziness.
5:20 p.m.: IM A at work and ask him if he’s in the mood for some anal sex tonight. I’m eager to try out the strapless double-sided number. I’m excited by his response of “Sure, why not?” and start fantasizing about later tonight.
8 p.m.: A gets home and I grab the double-sided dildo and we hop in bed to test it out. I slip the larger side inside of me and A fucks me with it. After I get off, I flip the dildo around and use it on him. This is a new feeling for me, as I’m a virgin at fucking someone in the ass. I like it. I fall into the dominant role pretty easily and instruct him to flip over onto his back. We keep going at it, while I simultaneously jerk him off. He comes hard and quick in just a few minutes, and we pass out on the bed tired and giddy.

TOTALS: Two acts of intercourse, one act of oral sex (receiving), four acts of oral sex (giving), four acts of masturbation, two PG acts of groping.

The Horny Consultant With the Two-Sided Toy