Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Woman With Two Lovers Back-to-Back Who Doesn’t Change the Sheets: Female, Research Associate, Park Slope, 26, straight, single/casually dating.
7:45 a.m.: So nice to wake up alone in my bed. I thought something might have happened last night with my Canadian friend who is moving back to Montreal today. I’ve had a crush on him since we met through my ex last winter. He used to hook up with my roommate (who informed me that the sex was uninspiring), and I felt like he was vying for a going-away threesome. My roommate and I have been friends since high school. We made out once and had a weird foursome with our college boyfriends. I can’t see us ever going down that road again, though, so I’m glad it didn’t happen.
10:26 a.m.: Ask the musician I’m seeing what he wants to do tonight. He wants to come over late (he has band practice), but I worry that the super late rendezvous drifts into booty call territory.
12:22 p.m.: Chatting online with the other guy I’m seeing, a scientist, whose name happens to rhyme with the musician’s. The scientist is aggressively non-committal, which is fine, because we’re pretty incompatible, long-term. He wants to talk about other people we’re dating, so I told him about the musician. He’s been a little off ever since, vacillating between trying to impress me and sulking. Funny coming from someone who claims not to want to be in a relationship.
6:10 p.m.: Heading to the laundromat. I only have two towels, and the scientist used my extra one when he spent the night on Monday. I want to have a fresh towel for the musician, in case he wants to shower in the morning. I decide not to change my sheets, even though the scientist and I had sex on them Monday night and Tuesday morning. They were pretty tidy sessions.
10:43 p.m.: Musician calls, and I go downstairs to let him in. I’m expecting a peck hello, but he gives me a long, open-mouthed kiss. We usually get drunk and/or high when we hang out, but tonight we’re sober, which makes me sort of nervous.
11:53 p.m.: I take off my pants and straddle him, feeling sexy and dominant. The musician is pretty conservative sexually. Talking about sex with him, I’ve come to realize that on a scale from porno to Mormon, I’m way left of center. I grab a condom and start riding him, moaning perhaps more than is warranted, because I know it turns him on. He comes fast and hard. I’m often a bit withholding when it comes to sex, making sure that my partners put out some serious effort to give me an orgasm before I lavish them with attention. Not so with the musician. I totally want to get him off.
1:15 a.m.: While going down on me, the musician reaches up and plays with my nipples. I don’t know how to tell him I’m not into it without coming across as critical … I already feel like I’m a little intimidating in the bedroom.
1:48 a.m.: I ask him if he’s slept with anyone else since he broke up with his long-term girlfriend a couple months ago. He tells me he hasn’t.
5:45 a.m.: Why can’t I sleep when I spend the night with him? I decide to wake him up with a blowjob. He starts moaning, but pulls me away after a few minutes. We cuddle for a while, which leads to him fingering me. I’ve been getting really wet lately, and I’m surprised and delighted by my readiness for morning sex with minimal preparation. He gets a condom. I want to look him in the eye, but find that the intimacy-intensity of it is a little much, so I watch him moving on top of me instead. He finishes, and I tell him he has dramatic orgasms. I reassure him by telling him that I do, too, and he tells me he hopes to find that out for himself soon.
7:07 a.m.: He’s playing a show this weekend, and I ask if I should come. He says I’m welcome, but I sense he’s ambivalent. I know his ex comes to most of his shows, and a bunch of his friends are going to be in town. Maybe it’s too soon?
7:25 a.m.: I pull out my new, very expensive vibrator for an early morning solo session. I imagine my neighbors watching us last night through my windows, which don’t have curtains.
1:29 p.m.: Getting turned on at work thinking about the way the musician smells. He smokes (I do not), and is notoriously loath to shower. I find his scent tragically sexy.
6:15 p.m.: Meet up with the scientist to watch a movie in Brooklyn Bridge Park. He wants me to tell the musician I’m dating someone else. He also tells me that if I wanted to be exclusive, he’d give it some serious consideration, and then half-jokingly tells me he’d totally be my girlfriend. Being exclusive with the scientist doesn’t appeal to me, but it’s somehow vindicating for him to admit that he’s interested in it.
8:16 p.m.: Get a text from the musician about how tired he is, which the scientist sees on my phone. I’m embarrassed and awkwardly apologize.
10:22 p.m.: Back at the scientist’s apartment, I start blowing him. He likes to finger me while I give him head, which turns into a 69, with him on top. He pulls me to the edge of the bed, and we go at it with my legs folded into my chest, my ankles by my ears. This position is super deep, so I tell him to be nice. He stands up and picks me up by my thighs, my back resting on the bed. He pulls out while coming, and starts going down on me again, diving right into his load. I think it turns him on, but it grosses me out a little. I try to wipe his cum away, but some gets in his hair in the process. After a few minutes, I have an orgasm, and we shower again, both of us sticky from sex. I tell him I’m warming up to the idea of him coming on my face. As a good feminist, it’s the one thing I have a hard time with.
7:21 a.m.: Sleep through my alarm and wake up to the scientist rubbing his morning wood against me. Spooning sex is really the best choice for sleepy morning sessions. We do this for a while, then he pulls out and starts going down on me. He’s fingering me really aggressively, and it’s getting uncomfortable. I start to go down on him, then get on my knees so we can have sex, and he enters me from behind. He tells me he wants to come in my mouth, so I turn around to help him finish. We each touch ourselves. When he’s ready, he finishes in my mouth, and I gag a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever not swallowed, but for some reason, I’m not having it today.
7:56 a.m.: He gives me keys to his apartment so I can water his plants while he’s away. I wonder if it’s a symbolic move.
9:28 p.m.: Debating with my roommates what makes for good sex. One of my roommates, like me, mostly has orgasms from oral sex. My other roommate isn’t such a fan of oral sex and tells us that her last boyfriend never went down on her in the eight or so months they dated. Unthinkable!
9:22 a.m.: Wake up from crazy sex dream about a friend of mine from home. I’ve had a crush on him for several years, but nothing’s ever happened. I saw him recently and sent him what I thought were pretty clear messages that I wanted to sleep with him. He didn’t bite, and I can’t bring myself to be more aggressive. In the dream, the sex was awkward.
1:40 p.m.: Thinking about the scientist, I steal away to my bedroom for a solo session. Wish I could text the scientist something dirty, but he’s out of town with minimal reception. Fantasize about a threesome with the scientist and the musician, which they both said they’d try.
8:44 p.m.: Musician says he’d love to see me if I’m in the mood to come out to Brooklyn. I tell him if he comes to Manhattan, I’ll make it worth his while.
12:32 a.m.: Don’t see the musician, but make plans to hang out tomorrow.
11:18 a.m.: Put on my go-to lesbian porn (some Sapphic Erotica something or other that my ex-boyfriend bestowed upon me when we were together) and masturbate. I come thinking about watching porn with the musician.
6:41 p.m.: Musician asks me if I want to come up to his neighborhood to hang out with him and his roommates. I’ve only met one of the three. I can’t decide whether it’s a good sign that he wants me to meet his roommates, or a bad sign that he doesn’t want to hang out with me alone. Completely psych myself out thinking that he’s over it.
8:36 p.m.: At dinner with the musician and his roommates. Why do I get so crazy? Musician is clearly into me.
10:12 p.m.: Making out with the musician in his bed. I ask him if he’ll drive me home. We keep trying to leave, but end up making out all over his apartment instead. He’s groping me, and I can feel that he’s hard. I’m totally wet and consider telling him this, but don’t.
10:49 p.m.: Back at mine, I go down on him for a few minutes, then, naked, grind up against him. We haven’t had unprotected sex, and I tell him that we’re being naughty. He tells me he isn’t sleeping with anyone else, and we have sex without a condom for a hot second. He puts a condom on and I start riding him again. He gets on top, and I manage to make eye contact with him this time. He comes and then goes down on me for a while. I keep getting close to having an orgasm. He asks what could be better. I tell him he’s great, I just have a hard time having orgasms. We cuddle for a while, and he keeps getting up to leave, but we make out more instead. He leaves, and I fall asleep exhausted and slightly giddy.
8:12 p.m.: Text the musician, asking him how his day was and telling him that last night was fabulous. He agrees.
10:37 p.m.: On the train home, fantasizing about being blindfolded by the scientist. The other night, he said that he isn’t a big fan of being blindfolded himself, but I think he would blindfold me. I’ve never done it, but I’d like to.
11:18 p.m.: Using my vibrator, thinking about last night with the musician, alternately watching lesbian porn and watching myself at work. Pass out.
9:58 a.m.: Scientist asks if I miss him and tells me he wishes I was with him. He swears he invited me to come along, but I don’t think he did. He asks me if I want to go camping with him later in the month, but I’m going to be out of town. As much as I go back and forth about liking him, I do enjoy our adventures.
11:23 a.m.: Telling my therapist about the dudes, recognizing that while I haven’t been in this position before, I’m really excited about the prospect of taking a more sexually dominant role with the musician. Also recognizing how terrifying it is for me to be open and vulnerable with him. I haven’t felt strongly about someone in so long.
TOTALS: four acts of oral sex given; five acts of oral sex received; five acts of intercourse, four acts of masturbation; one almost threesome.
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