“I don’t think any of us are thinking this necessarily has anything to with politics,” said unfathomably naive Conservative Parliament member Brad Trost. According to the Associated Press, on Tuesday a receptionist at Canada’s Conservative party headquarters opened a blood-soaked box that contained a severed human foot. The package was addressed to the party and not to anyone in particular. It’s worth noting that Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s leadership rating has dropped drastically recently — possibly even to the “severed foot hate mail” level.
Ottawa police intercepted a package containing another human body part, but no details have been released. Officials are also investigating a connection to a severed torso recently discovered by Montreal police. While gory and disturbing, more than a few Law & Order SVU marathons tell us that maybe the foot, at least, doesn’t belong to a living person: A dozen feet washed ashore in Vancouver beginning in 2007, which police connected to suicide bridge-jumpers. Those involved should still feel free to channel Brad Pitt with a full Se7en-style meltdown.