Return-A-Pet con man Eric Stein will return to jail for five years and three months for bilking investors who bought sham distributorships in his nonexistent business, which he claimed helped return lost pets to their owners, The Wall Street Journal reports. The 54-year-old New York swindler has some serious balls: He started the fraud in 2007 while still on probation after a four-year prison stay for running a $34 million investment scam involving late-night television commercials. “It was not Eric Stein’s first investment fraud scheme, but with today’s sentence, it will hopefully be his last,” said Preet Bharara, the U.S. attorney in Manhattan. Probably not. Keep an eye out in 2017 for an opportunity to buy into Eric Stein’s state-of-the-art ice cream company that equips trucks with sensors to detect children who have money and/or are overweight.