early and awesome

The ‘Harry Reid’ and Eight Other Politicians Who Should Also Be Sex Moves

 Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) listens during a news conference on Capitol Hill on June 21, 2012 in Washington, DC. The Democratic leadership addressed issues including the resignation of Commerce Secretary John Bryson and the expected Supreme Court ruling on the Affordable Care Act.
Harry Reid, the person. Photo: Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images

We’ve never wanted to combine Harry Reid and sex into a single mental image, but a new Urban Dictionary definition, which was first noticed by the Las Vegas Review-Journal before quickly spreading around the Internet today, has made that impossible. According to the Internet’s leading slang reference guide, a “Harry Reid” is:

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A sexual position where you climb on top and then do absolutely nothing. Named for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV). Under his lack of leadership, the Senate failed to pass a budget in 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012. He also blocked votes on numerous jobs bills passed by the House of Representatives.
I spent so long trying to talk her into bed that when I finally got on, I pulled a ‘Harry Reid’ and fell asleep.

While we don’t expect this alternate definition to stick (pun intended!) as well as Santorum, it did get us thinking about other political names that could also work as sexual moves:

  • The Howard Dean: When you scream at an inappropriate time.

Example: He Howard Dean’d while we were kissing. It scared the hell out of me.

  • The John Boehner: When you start crying for seemingly no reason.

Example: Everything was going fine until she started to John Boehner and then we had to stop.

  • The Joe Biden: When you stick an entire foot inside your mouth.

Example: He took off my sock and gave me a Joe Biden. It was gross.

  • The Mitch McConnell: When you just say no.

Example: Not to Mitch McConnell you, Steve, but I’d rather just watch TV.

  • The Sarah Palin: When you show up totally unprepared.

Example: You forgot condoms? Thanks for Sarah Palin-ing our night. 

  • The Herman CainAn orgy consisting of nine men and nine women for nine hours.

Example: I’m exhausted after last night’s epic Herman Cain.

  • The Mitt Romney: When you refuse to take a position.

Example: He didn’t want to do doggy style, he didn’t want to do missionary, he didn’t want me on top. I was like, come on, quit Mitt Romneying already!

  • The Barack Obama: When you need a second stimulus.

Example: The first Viagra only worked for a little while, so he pulled a Barack Obama and took another one.

Harry Reid and Eight Other Political Sex Moves