Well, it’s been a good run, guys. In our time here on Earth, we’ve created artistic masterpieces, explored outer space, and forced our prisoners to perform synchronized Thriller dance routines for our amusement. But today, December 21, the great human experiment finally comes to an end — at least according to a couple of subjective, esoteric Mayan texts, the most authoritative source in the world.
Like the violin players of the Titanic, if they had been wearing T-shirts and robes instead of tuxedos, we’ll be live-blogging the destruction of Earth until the apocalypse cuts off our Internet connection. It’s been an honor and a privilege.
Update XVI, 5:51 p.m.: Okay, the apocalypse didn’t happen. We’re going home. Bye.
Update XV, 5:37 p.m.: Nothing’s happening.
Update XIV, 4:47 p.m.: Nothing’s happening.
Update XIII, 4:14 p.m.: Nothing’s happening.
Update XII, 3:16 p.m.: Nothing’s happening.
Update XI, 2:20 p.m.: We thought we maybe heard an earthquake but it was just a loud truck driving by.
Update X, 1:31 p.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update IX, 12:48 p.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update VIII, 12:26 p.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update VII, 11:17 a.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update VI, 10:49 a.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update V, 10:09 a.m.: Wait, never mind, now they’re playing marimba music.
Update IV, 10:08 a.m.: Uh oh, this scene from Tikal looks kind of ominous.
Update III, 9:39 a.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update II, 9:02 a.m.: Nothing’s happening
Update I, 8:38 a.m.: Nothing’s happening
