secretary of awesome

Can John Kerry Be a Secretary of Awesome?

WASHINGTON - JANUARY 13: (RETRANSMITTED WITH ALTERNATE CROP) U.S. Secretary of State Nominee and incumbent U.S. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) (L) arrives at her confirmation hearing before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee with Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) (R) on Capitol Hill January 13, 2009 in Washington, DC. Clinton was tapped by President-elect Barack Obama to lead the State Department after he defeated her in the Democatic primaries last year. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Hillary Rodham Clinton;John Kerry
Photo: Alex Wong/2009 Getty Images

In his odd 60 Minutes exit interview with Hillary Clinton last weekend, President Obama declared that “Hillary will go down as one of the finest secretaries of state we’ve had.” While pundits and historians are still debating that point, there’s no doubt that Hillary will go down as the most meme-ready secretary of state we’ve ever had. (Despite a noble effort by Madeleine Albright.) From looking like a badass while checking her Blackberry to unabashedly staring down Christina Aguilera’s shirt, Clinton delighted the Internet with shots from her travels around the world. That’s why her replacement feels like a bit of a letdown. Sure, John Kerry is a capable public servant and 48.3 percent of America wanted him to be president, but does he have what it takes to inherit Hillary’s “secretary of awesome” moniker?

Clinton gets some work done on the plane.


Kerry gets some work done on the plane.

Photo: Paula Bronstein/2004 Getty Images

Verdict: Kerry has a long way to go. He should start by investing in sunglasses and an interesting brooch.

Clinton gets a bit too familiar with Christina Aguilera.

Kerry gets a bit too familiar with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Verdict: Score one for Kerry. He found a way to make the situation awkward and hilarious even though Leo was fully clothed.

Clinton dresses up for our amusement.

Kerry dresses up for our amusement.

Verdict: Well done! Kerry should be embarrassing the U.S. on the international stage in no time.

Clinton relaxes by the water.

Kerry relaxes on the water.

Verdict: The American people generally don’t like to see their politicians engage in water sports. Kerry needs to give up this hobby unless he can find a way to squeeze Bill Clinton on that board with him.

Clinton shares a beer with the locals.

Kerry shares a beer with the locals.

Verdict: Judging from the look on his drinking companion’s face, Kerry needs to come up with some stories that don’t revolve around ridiculous things John Boehner said during fiscal cliff negotiations.

Clinton starts a dance party.

Photo: STR/2012 AFP

Kerry makes a futile attempt to start a dance party.

Verdict: Obama needs to confiscate this guitar before Kerry tries to serenade foreign leaders with his rendition of “Stairway to Heaven.”

Can John Kerry Be a Secretary of Awesome?