New York’s most famous cupcake producer has been closed since Thursday, when the Health Department discovered mouse droppings and holes in the West Village flagship store. Company spokeswoman Sara Gramling claimed that the infestation was limited to the basement, and therefore did not affect the food prep or service areas. It did, however, affect the frosting-laced dreams of the tourists who flock to the Sex and the City staple: “I can’t believe I came all the way from Pittsburgh for a rat-cake! Too gross!” complained one Dave Harshbarger to the New York Post. The bakery is now trying to guilt patrons out of their grossed-outedness by attributing their vermin visitors to Hurricane Sandy: “Because of the flooding, a lot of mice have moved inward, and that was the issue that was found in the basement,” explained Gramling. Unfortunately, that’s not really a valid excuse.
On Khashoggi’s murder (in part): “Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the Crown Prince had knowledge of this tragic event—maybe he did and maybe he didn’t!”