Technically speaking, Joe Lhota wasn’t the only person to lose the race for mayor last night. The ballot included fifteen names in all, including Jimmy “The Rent Is Too Damn High” McMillan, who tallied 1,899 votes. All the way at the bottom, though, in last place, is a man named Michael Dilger (Flourish: Every Person Can Shine Like The Sun), who somehow collected 54 votes despite only having 39 Twitter followers. “Now it’s Burger time,” he declared yesterday. “Yee-Haa!”
I have never struck a woman. I never will strike a woman. I have been an advocate for women’s rights my entire career and I’m going to continue to be an advocate… I am looking forward to a full investigation at which point I am confident that I will be fully exonerated.