As the de Blasios prepare for their move into Gracie Mansion, they’ve been dumping unwanted items in a “free” pile outside their Brooklyn home, but their neighbors tell the New York Post that the items are only being picked up because they belong to the mayor. So far, New Yorkers have added old wine glasses, SAT prep books, cracked plates, and stained dresses to their collections of mayoral memorabilia. “I mean, there was nothing good,” reports Susan LaRosa, who still snatched a baking pan from the pile last weekend. She said of her own free pile, “I thought my stuff was far superior.” However, she regrets not grabbing the Reefer Madness poster left on the sidewalk, and we regret that the de Blasios aren’t hanging it in their new home.
“May God ruin him.”