Dante de Blasio is way cooler than all of us, which is why it’s so painfully embarrassing that the Times wrote a whole story about his dad dropping him off for his first day of school. Ugh, daaaaaaad, why do you have to embarrass me like this!?
Sure, his dad’s the mayor, but now Dante’s first day of his senior year of high school is forever commemorated in a cringe-worthy Times story:
Stepping out of the car at around 8:05 a.m. on Thursday — his 17th birthday — Dante appeared unmoved, greeting a classmate, laughing, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his shorts.
Mr. de Blasio’s driver waited a beat, or three, until Dante disappeared into the crowd, before shepherding the mayor and his wife, Chirlane McCray, to their next stop.
“We were emotional wrecks,” Mr. de Blasio said later, at an event celebrating New York City’s prekindergarten program. “Dante was absolutely blasé about the whole thing.”
Dante doesn’t care! He just wants to go to school, chill with his friends, and do stuff normal teens do, like never look up from his phone even when you are speaking directly to him.
Just call him Dante de Blaséo. [Slips on sunglasses.]