“Where are the children? Get them over here.”
Donald Trump’s helicopter had just landed near the Iowa State Fair, and the man himself emerged, wearing a “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” red baseball cap. Fifty kids were waiting for the chance to take a ride at his presidential amusement park, which offered a number of attractions around the area all weekend.
For the kids, it was the chance to see a person from television in real life — and more important, an opportunity to ride in a very cool helicopter. Nine-year-old William was so mesmerized by the improbable scene that he had to ask Trump, “Are you Batman?”
“I am Batman,” he responded, winning his first vote for the 2028 presidential election.
In nearby Knoxville, thousands more people had the chance to experience another ride at the Trump 2016 Iowa Experience, where the only goal is to give voters exactly what they want, even if it doesn’t make much political or logical sense — or just isn’t true. According to Politico, Trump sponsored a sprint car at the 55th annual Knoxville Nationals. The car’s wing said, “TRUMP: #MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” in bright white letters. Trump’s Iowa co-chair and Apprentice alum Tana Goertz was there getting spectators to sign the car. She managed to get more than 500 signatures. The Politico reporter with her was interested to know how she managed to collect so many.
She told me they asked passersby to sign it if they supported Trump. Or cancer awareness. Or the troops. “So, troops, cancer, and Trump?” I asked, hoping to clarify that I wasn’t missing some obvious connection between the three. “Yep,” Goertz said. “Troops. Cancer awareness. And Trump. And everything makes America better—makes America great again.”
Back at the state fair, there was still one more attraction left to enjoy: the chance to see the natural wonder that is Trump’s hair. According to the New York Times, a man clutching a 27-ounce beer yelled at the presidential candidate, “Pull the hat off! I want to see the comb over!”
Now, however, the fun house has closed, and Trump has returned to New York for a new adventure: jury duty, something that wealthy businessmen still have to do and superheroes definitely do not.