A 24-year-old man’s spontaneous caper to avoid getting a ticket earlier this month completely failed, according to DNAinfo’s police blotter. In a quick succession of movements that was surely amusing to watch, the man tried to block his car’s registration sticker with his hands, before sinking down to hide his license plate with his body. When this failed to deter the traffic officer, who was unmoved by the interpretive-dance performance happening only feet away, the man stole the officer’s pen, which was “valued at $5.” Instead of avoiding the original ticket, the man was charged with attempted criminal mischief, obstructing governmental administration, petit larceny, and harassment. The mystery of why the NYPD uses $5 pens — perhaps its worth is inflated by the fact that writing utensils are the traffic officer’s chief weapon? — was not addressed in the police report.