As the presidential race heads into the first round of primaries and candidates do their best to woo voters, one major demographic has been largely overlooked: dank memers. (Dank memers are the patriotic, voting Americans who love and make memes, especially “dank” — good — ones.) Which candidate will pledge to increase our national store of memes? Who can best promise to increase our slipping rates of meme dankness? Who can ensure American meme hegemony while facing the rapid rise of Russian, Indian, Brazilian, and Nigerian memes? As far as Facebook’s top memers are concerned, there’s only one candidate: Barnie Sandlers.
Yes, you read that right. Barnie Sandlers is the only candidate speaking directly to memers, promising the dankest possible memes as we face a new century of American meme-making.
His foremost opponent? Anti-meme reactionary Dolan J. Tramp.
Who will you vote for?