Mike Tyson, celebrated boxer and Hangover movie setpiece, has rarely been defeated— not by opponents, by drugs, or by a rape conviction. Despite everything he’s done, everything he’s allegedly done, and everything he hasn’t apologized for, America continues to furnish him with chances. But this week, the soft-voiced, hard-bodied former champ met something he couldn’t overcome: the precarious, non-hovering toy we insist on calling a hoverboard.
It’s been said that Tyson is no Muhammad Ali, and it’s true. He tried to float like a butterfly, and now his sore ass probably stings like a bee. Merry Christmas, champ!