New York Magazine Competition No. 66: Near-Miss Songs

By , New York’s city editor who joined the magazine in 1993

Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays (or, this week, Tuesday), we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 66: “NEAR-MISS SONGS.” Please offer a title that almost works. For example:

(I DID IT) AMWAY

MAN-HANDS ACROSS THE WATER

THE TOOL ON THE HILL

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #nearmisssongs, or in the comments thread below, by February 17.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION No. 65, “BANDS FOR SNOWMAGEDDON,” in which you were asked to rename a performer or band in keeping with winter storm season.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Sleety Dan
—RubyBaby

Sleigher
—MiddleCoastDan

Jefferson Airplane Grounded Due to Weather Conditions
—FlirtySanchez

Snow Doubt
—RustyShackelford

Tom Petty and the Icebreakers
—clippityclop

Ol’ Chilly Bastard
—AlienIncognito

Alice in Snow Chains
—rgqueen

Run Y’ Noses
—Econpete

Nat King Cold
—j_son

Emerson, Lake Effect & Palmer
—BobKopac

Sister Slush
—Periclescrystal

Bruce Springsteen and the E Sleet Band
—3North

Queens of the Ice Age
—@shipleywriter

AND THE WINNER IS:

Can’t Heat
—kaboomm


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Competition No. 66: Near-Miss Songs