On Thursday the White Sox traded Jose Quintana to the Cubs in exchange for four prospects. A pretty standard deal in the world of Major League Baseball, right?
Not quite — because the news of this trade wasn’t broken by one of the many tireless MLB reporters out there, scouring the ends of the Earth looking for a scoop, but, instead, by a mysterious duo of butt-themed redditors: KatyPerrysBootyHole and wettbutt23.
Late Wednesday night, the seemingly innocent user KatyPerrysBootyHole posted a cryptically labeled “Quintana rumor” in the White Sox subreddit.
“Hey guys,” the post said, “take this with a grain of salt, but I heard from a friend who’s brothers friend works for the cubs (sounds like bullshit I know), that Q is going to the cubs in exchange for 4 players. Has anyone heard anything similar?”
Doubts began to swirl almost instantly. This wasn’t the first time a wild (and ultimately incorrect) theory had been posted to the subreddit — and users like peezy1996 responded with the curt “Highly doubtful.” It seemed as if the wise words of KatyPerrysBootyHole would soon be lost in the sea of other White-Sox-related rumors. But(t) then, the unthinkable happened: Another (wetter) butt joined the fray.
User wetbutt23 posted a comment to corraborate the claims of his friend KatyPerrysBootyHole: “4 prospects. No pros. Players were meeting with doctors and will be official tonight or tomorrow.” And despite the fact that 22 equally wet butts may have came before him, wetbutt23 was absolutely right.
Neither wettbutt23 nor KatyPerrysBootyHole have any known history of producing this sort of insider MLB info — although KatyPerrysBootyHole is a frequent commenter in r/whitesox — but fans seem to be hailing them as their new baseball oracles.
The whole incident eventually resulted in legitimate news outlets apologizing to the pair for not giving them proper attribution. (CSNChicago.com actually had to write the words “CSNChicago.com apologizes to wetbutt23 for the error” on its site. What a world.) And while MLB reporters alike might be cursing themselves for getting scooped by some buttheads posting online, at least they’re not alone in that this week.