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Happy International Women’s Day to All of You Googling ‘International Men’s Day’

It’s International Women’s Day! A lovely, very real holiday where we celebrate women by using them for viral, opportunistic marketing campaigns. (McDonald’s flipping its M to a W takes first place this year!) In case you haven’t checked the calendar, today is March 8. International Women’s Day is March 8. March 8: The one day of the entire dang year devoted — however bogusly — to women. Let women have this. Do not be like the large number of schmucks who spent today Googling to find out what day of the year is International Men’s Day. Or the large number of schmucks who spent last International Women’s Day Googling to find out about International Men’s Day. Or any of the schmucks who did it in the years before that. Google Trends, unsurprisingly, shows a spike in searches for “International Men’s Day” on March 8 each year. By comparison, there are significantly fewer searches for the term on its given date.

I’m not going to validate these searches by telling you when International Men’s Day — a likewise made-up holiday, which, unlike International Women’s Day, definitely didn’t need to be made up — falls on the calendar. You can Google it. Everybody else is.

Please Stop Googling ‘International Men’s Day’