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Blocks from Astoria's 30th Avenue subway station, Athens Café serves as a gateway into the lively neighborhood. By 6pm, groups of old Greek men congregate at tables to chug beers and swap stories, greeting neighbors' wives on their way out after finishing their afternoon coffee and pastry. The diamond-shaped space, accented with minimal Art Deco flourishes, is a bit sterile, but it's terrific for people-watching, especially in the summer when sidewalk tables fill up quickly with thirsty locals. It's a good thing the view is so interesting, and the coffee—and ouzo—so strong, because the food at Athens Café is certainly not worth a visit. Sandwiches filled with lantza, loukaniko or rosto come so dry, you'll be asking for extra mayo packets in a heartbeat. Fried haloumi cheese, cold and chewy, resembles the sole of a sneaker. Even the Greek salad gets bungled, overloaded with iceberg lettuce and flavorless feta. And though desserts have their own takeout counter, many are sickly sweet without a trace of fresh honey. In fact, as you look a little harder at the place, you'll realize something: Few people are actually eating. — Justin Hartung