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24. Because Our Schoolteachers Are Such Prim Homebodies…


Thomas Pressano
Age: 43
School: DeWitt Clinton High School, the Bronx.
Subject: English (literary criticism), grades nine and eleven.
Other life: Portrays Gene Simmons, a.k.a. the Demon, in circa-1977 tribute band Kiss Alive!
Where: Private events, birthday parties, clubs like Dingbatz in Clifton, New Jersey (January 10).
Favorite number: “ ‘God of Thunder,’ where I get to spit blood and play with fire.”
Students’ reaction: “Oh, you’re letting your Jungian shadow out on the weekends.”
Wife’s reaction: “Watch out for the fire—your insurance doesn’t cover you, asshole.”


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