THE WEST VILLAGE CRUISER
Male, 38, magazine editor, West Village, single and gay.

DAY 1
8:00 P.M. Attend 12-step meeting. Run into attractive, Über-muscular acquaintance.
10:00 Start sex journal. Could be humbling. Haven’t had sex in … some time.
12:30 A.M. Log on to a recent discovery: Xtube.com. Watch a twentysomething couple having bareback sex.

DAY 2
7:30 A.M. Involved dream about Über-muscular acquaintance. In dream, he takes me to an estate on the Maine coast. Think it’s more of a real-estate fantasy.
11:30 A.M. Text messages:
D: Hi, this is D, we met along the river 2 years ago and went to ur place … Maybe we could meet again I am in ny again and have fun. Ok?
Me: D … Can u refresh my memory? Send a pic to my e-mail.
D: My computer here can not load pics. I m tall brown, 35, more pass. I was walking along the river close to Christopher. I’m French.
Me: Well—why don’t we grab a coffee?
6:30 P.M. Go to gym. Stare shamelessly at two other men in the free-weights area—a humpy blond and a tall Italian. They don’t notice.
8:00 Text from D raises my spirits.
10:00 D shows up. Sweet, moderately cute fashionista. I have no recollection of meeting him. Worse, we both seem to be bottoms. To my relief, he is on his way by 10:15.

DAY 3
10:00 A.M. Walking my dog, I pass a very handsome, tall man with black hair and a black Lab. We smile and nervously say hello. Turn to look at him after a beat. He keeps going.

DAY 4
3:15 P.M. Get out of work early. Would take the dog out but it’s raining. Log on to Manhunt.com instead.
9:30 Take long walk with friend from 12-step meeting. My terrier won’t leave his dachshund alone. Major humping.
12:30 A.M. Xtube.com. Watch a Greek twentysomething undress for someone (presumably older) holding a camera.

DAY 5
8:00 P.M. See The Lives of Others with friend; am nostalgic for an ex in Berlin.
11:00 Friend walks me home to check out a Website; laughs that I left Manhunt on. We make fun of people’s profiles for a while.

DAY 6
1:00 P.M. Am cruised by a cute Jewish guy with a shaved head. We swap numbers and share a chaste peck.
9:00 The cruising guy calls.
9:30 Cruising guy comes over to play Scrabble. I win. We fool around: blow jobs for both of us. He’s not perturbed by my disclosures (sober, HIV-positive, yadda yadda … ), but I doubt there’ll be another date.

DAY 7
5:15 P.M. Go to gym. Chat up hot guy in sauna. He’s friendly but doesn’t seem too interested.
6:00 My dog is, as usual, very interested in me. Wet kiss.

Total: Two acts of masturbation; two acts of fellatio: one given, one received.

Related:

• Archive: “Guides”
• Articles by Arianne Cohen
• Table of Contents: Apr 30, 2007 issue of New York | Subscribe!