“I wanted a sense of home,” says June. “I no longer wanted to depend on luck, or that idea that you’re destined to meet the right person. In your forties, if you’re not in a relationship, you get a sense that you could be alone for the rest of your life.”
The pair met on Match.com; Béla was one of the first men June went out with. “Ten years ago, if I had read that his profile said New Jersey, I might have moved on. I would have been a snob.”
After six months, Béla asked June to marry him. She immediately made an appointment at a fertility specialist. “My OB/GYN told me that I was in the last inning in the World Series and that I better start now,” she says. Immediately after the wedding, June went through her first IVF cycle and got pregnant with her son on the first try.
On a humid day in August, the pair, now both 48, arrive at a local playground, unpack the car, and settle down under an oak tree. Their 5-year-old son, Isaac, runs off to the play equipment. Their towheaded twins, Elana and Margalit—the result of IVF when June was 45—sit on the ground, drinking juice boxes. June tells me that she was initially shaken by her sudden transformation from a Manhattan career girl into a married, stay-at-home New Jersey mom: Even learning to drive was a culture shock. But she is satisfied with the decision she made to choose a relationship that she quickly knew was right for her—and to get out of what she calls “a needle in a haystack and a numbers game.”
“The negative is that you haven’t had the ten years to nurture your relationship and you don’t have the memory base to keep retrieving,” says June, taking the juice from one of her daughters. “We don’t remember what life was like before our son was born. We should probably put it on the to-do list to have more alone time! The positive is that we don’t have to mourn the freedom that we lost, because we never had it.”