Illustration by Kagan McLeod

6. SOY CLOTHING
Remember when you could put on a garment labeled “100% cotton” and feel like Henry Frigging Thoreau? Now, of course, we know that cotton is evil: the most poison-intensive crop on the planet.
That’s why I try to buy organic cotton.
Not good enough.
Between 840 and 3,500 gallons of water are used to grow a pound of cotton, even the organic kind. So what do you want me to do—go naked?
Go soy.
You want me to wear tofu.
A tofu by-product, to be exact. They take the dregs of tofu and soybean-oil processing, add polymers, and voilà.
Isn’t there a fair amount of energy involved?
Well, yes, but since the stock fiber is soy waste, you can discount the energy used in growing it. And think how tasty you’d look in this clingy tangerine hoodie.
Feels nice. It’s really soy?
A blend: 47% soy, 47% cotton, 6% spandex.
What, no duck sauce?

VERDICT: As long as you’re in the dressing room, you might try on something in hemp or bamboo, too.