Illustration by Kagan McLeod

10. SQUEEGEE FOR THE BODY
What could be more brilliantly simple than this? A squeegee for the body: You flick off the water after showering, and your towel gets less wet, mildews less, and needs less washing.
Simply brilliant. And think of the possibilities: It’s raining, you’re soaked to the skin, you stop at a crosswalk, and some guy in a hooded sweatshirt whips this thing out …
Seriously, I tried this gizmo. It works. Just think of the water savings: an ounce flicked in time saves gallons down the line.
Thanks, but I’ve already got a product that does the same thing. It’s all-natural, 100 percent recyclable, feels much nicer than plastic, and there’s no danger of my leaving it in a hotel bathroom.
What is it? I’ll ask the New York intern to order one!
My hand.

VERDICT: The proliferation of absurdly specialized and redundant tools is not our idea of green.