Skip to content, or skip to search.

Skip to content, or skip to search.

Alternative Reality TV


Illustration by Kagan McLeod  

Gossip Girl

By Veronica Becker and Sarah Kuscerka, writers from Ugly Betty

Over the past 13 episodes…
The students of the Upper East Side’s Constance Billard and St. Jude’s schools lied, cheated, slept together, and—against all odds—fell in love. When we left off, Dan and Serena were happy, Vanessa was jealous, Blair was in exile, Chuck was plotting revenge, Jenny’s rise to power was imminent, and Nate was sitting pretty, literally and as always.


EPISODE 14: “The Breakup”
Sure, Serena and Dan were a match made in heaven—too bad Manhattan society’s social scene is hell. After one too many masquerade balls, debutante debuts, and Botox brunches, the differences between this Uptown Girl and her Wrong Side of the Tracks Romeo become too much for the couple to bear. After a disastrous V-Day, a spurned D. leaves his love for good.

EPISODE 15: “Saved?”
Blair’s legging-clad lemmings all officially defect to Jenny’s clique, and Blair’s popularity—like her virginity—can’t be resurrected. When her ex won’t forgive her, B. has to find a new guy, someone even more popular than Nate … Jesus. Looks like the only way for Blair to wipe her slate clean is to be born again—literally. Blair’s newfound religion crucifies her sense of style as she trades Imitation of Christ for the real thing.

EPISODE 16: “Less Than Hero”
Hoping to dull his Waldorf-induced woe, Nate stumbles upon his dad’s pharmacopoeia and tastes a little nose candy himself. Our newly addicted Adonis tries to keep his hobby under wraps, but snoopy Serena sniffs out his hard-partying ways and falls down the rabbit hole herself. So the Original Cheaters are hot and heavy again—this time totally out in the open.

And for the SEASON FINALE ... “Prom Night”

When it comes time to pick a prom date, Dan shuns his upper-crust admirers, preferring something more hipster than couture. Who? Friend/stalker Vanessa, who enrolls in his school just in the nick of time. With the old guard fallen from grace, there’s room for a new clique in the halls, and Brooklynites Dan, Vanessa, and Jenny are it. But Dan and Vanessa’s budding romance hits a Sapphic snag at the club Tenjune when Prom King and Queen are announced.


Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. All the Park Avenue princesses are packing Bendel, Barneys, and Bergdorf looking for the perfect dress. But one accessory can’t be bought—the Prom Queen Crown!

JENNY: (to the CROWD) And your 2008 Prom King and Queen are … shocker! Dan and Vanessa!

CHUCK presses “send” on his phone.

CHUCK: (to the CROWD) Not for long. Gossip Girl just posted, and it looks like one of you is still in love with … Serena?!

DAN: (pleads with VANESSA) It’s not true, I swear. Look at her—she’s nothing but a crack whore now!

NATE AND SERENA: (to no one in particular) Sniff, sniff.

BLAIR: (CROSS in one hand, she winds up to punch DAN) That crack whore is my best friend!

VANESSA: (to SERENA) It’s not Dan who loves you … It’s me. You’re so hot!

SERENA: (flattered, and totally wasted) Huh. Well, this party sucks anyway. Wanna make out?

VOICE-OVER: Just another boring night in Manhattan. But don’t worry, things will get more interesting at the after-party, when a certain threesome become a little more than just friends. Who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl


Current Issue
Subscribe to New York

Give a Gift