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Bill Clinton Killed 50 People

Not directly, of course.

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The deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster, found dead with a revolver in his hand, just after filing years’ worth of delinquent Whitewater tax returns; Commerce Secretary Ron Brown, reportedly close to indictment for corruption when the Air Force CT-43 carrying him went down outside Dubrovnik; former White House intern Mary Mahoney, shot execution style and deposited in the back room of a Georgetown Starbucks; Luther Parks, head of security at Clinton campaign HQ, said to have compiled an oppo-research file on Clinton’s “illicit” activities, who died of multiple gunshot wounds; former CIA director William Colby, who had recently turned his attention to the Vince Foster “suicide”; Kevin Ives and Don Henry, slain and then placed on railroad tracks, two of ten deaths with some connection to the Arkansas drug ring Clinton is believed by some to have helped cover up; two supposed mistresses; seven prominent Democratic fund-raisers, who died under mysterious circumstances; and 28 bodyguards, escorts, and Secret Service agents, along with more than a dozen other witnesses and former friends, rivals, journalists, and investigators. That’s a lot of people to know who died in unsolved murders, hard-to-explain suicides, and accidents, even for a very sociable politician.


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