So I am scanning WSHH’s offerings on Friday the 13th, which happens to be today. It is a pretty slow day. “Nineteen-year-old From D.C. Shot and Killed for His $200 Nike Zoom Rookie Sneakers!” is lumbering along with a mere 85,000 hits. Only yesterday, “Big Girl Nearly Squashed Skinny Chick to Death in a Fight” picked up a quick 297,591 views, causing Black&Mild to comment: “I bet the site of that big silly azz stomach caused her to pass the fuck out.” Still, that’s nothing compared to the recent “Fight at Gas Station in Alabama: Man Gets a Woopin & Kicked to the Dome,” which now has well over 800,000 hits.
“Fight at Gas Station” is a budding WSHH classic. In short: At a desolate-looking filling station, a tall and skinny dude wants to fight a shorter guy in a white tee. Arrogant, talking shit, the tall guy prepares to rumble by slowly pulling his sweater and T-shirt over the top of his head. As the T-shirt obscures the tall guy’s view, the short guy attacks. This doesn’t stop the tall guy from talking trash. In fact, the more he gets his ass beat, the more the tall guy keeps talking, and by the time he stumbles over a trash can, knocking it over, it just gets funny in that cruel, Jackass slapstick way. I know it was wrong, like laughing at a particularly repellent joke. Who knows how much (more) brain damage and loose teeth will result from this particular beat-down? Still, it was hard not to agree with commenter Leon Byrd, who chortled, “n—— kick and punching you and you wanna get up and talk dumb ass protect ya self at all times.”
It is probably one more sign that those apocalyptic Mayan calendar-makers are right, but the more WSHH puts up videos, the more people watch them. Titles from the past few days include “Caught on Cell Phone: LA Cop Punches Special Needs Girl in the Face on a Bus!” and “Smack of the Week: Woman Clocks Man on Head With Wooden Stick!” I’ve looked at them all, at least in parts. Like a wreck on the highway, it’s hard to look away.